So, as a good Presbyterian, I find myself sitting in an awful lot of committee meetings. I see some amazing moments of insight and wisdom and cooperation. And I also see some amazing moments of bad behavior and shocking statements and hurtful actions.
In the past, I've made lists of some of the bad communication strategies I've seen happen in meetings. Haven't thought about it much until I read a blog post today that brought to mind one of my favorites.
The comment goes like this:
"Lots of people have been coming to me lately and they are really concerned about..."
According to Scott Hodge, what this comment usually means is actually this:
"I basically only have three friends…and all of them think exactly like me. The other night we were enjoying a time of self righteousness because, after all, we are right about everything…and were also slandering you (in the form of prayer requests) and thought it would be wise to approach you with our pet peeve. We’ve actually talked to no one else about this but said “lots” because we wanted to validate our dysfunction.”
Thus: Rule #1 for effective communication
"NO ANONYMOUS FEEDBACK"
If "lots of people" feel it, then all those people need to come say it themselves. At the risk of sounding extreme, anything short of that is GOSSIP.
What do you think?
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Family Values
We kind of got away from the Family Values series a little.
Life sort of intervened.
But here's a little video that says more than 1,000 words could.
Take a look at the video.
Is the person you are at home, totally different from the person you are on Sunday?
Worship doesn't happen on Sunday mornings. It happens all day every day.
If worship only happens for you on Sunday morning, then its probably not really happening on Sunday morning either.
The guy in this video reminds me of Amos 5:21-24. Look it up.
Life sort of intervened.
But here's a little video that says more than 1,000 words could.
Take a look at the video.
Is the person you are at home, totally different from the person you are on Sunday?
Worship doesn't happen on Sunday mornings. It happens all day every day.
If worship only happens for you on Sunday morning, then its probably not really happening on Sunday morning either.
The guy in this video reminds me of Amos 5:21-24. Look it up.
My official endorsement for President...
In the heat of the campaign season, on the eve of the 3rd official presidential debate, I've finally decided who I want to vote for.
My candidate has PROVEN to reduce crime, teen pregnancy, teen drop out rates, abortion and divorce.
No other candidate is willing to promise that.
No other candidate could ever actually accomplish that.
Without further ado, I am endorsing...
MENTORING for PRESIDENT
Here's why:
Children who have role models are:
46 % less likely to use drugs or alcohol
53% less likely to skip school
33% less likely to resort to violence
59% more likely to get better grades
My local hero in the campaign for mentoring is Scott Anderson. Scott has been a mentor for a young man for many years. What amazes me is that Scott didn't wait until his own kids left for college. Scott did this while raising his own kids. In fact, his mentee is just about the same age as Scott's youngest kids. Scott carved out the time and the energy to be a positive role model in a young man's life.
People like Scott are changing the world.
I'm voting for MENTORING.
Want to know more about mentoring?
Click here to read about The Belmont Foundation
Or Click here to read author Donald Miller talk about his Campaign for Mentoring.
My candidate has PROVEN to reduce crime, teen pregnancy, teen drop out rates, abortion and divorce.
No other candidate is willing to promise that.
No other candidate could ever actually accomplish that.
Without further ado, I am endorsing...
MENTORING for PRESIDENT
Here's why:
Children who have role models are:
46 % less likely to use drugs or alcohol
53% less likely to skip school
33% less likely to resort to violence
59% more likely to get better grades
My local hero in the campaign for mentoring is Scott Anderson. Scott has been a mentor for a young man for many years. What amazes me is that Scott didn't wait until his own kids left for college. Scott did this while raising his own kids. In fact, his mentee is just about the same age as Scott's youngest kids. Scott carved out the time and the energy to be a positive role model in a young man's life.
People like Scott are changing the world.
I'm voting for MENTORING.
Want to know more about mentoring?
Click here to read about The Belmont Foundation
Or Click here to read author Donald Miller talk about his Campaign for Mentoring.
Monday, October 13, 2008
truth in advertising...
just click the pic...
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
And the computer programmer.
Our youth group here at church is working through a month long series on identity: how do we see ourselves?
How do we think others see us?
How do we wish that others saw us?
And most importantly, how does God see us?
How in the world can teenagers develop healthy answers to those kinds of questions when all the images they see in media basically lie to them about what beauty is?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
And the computer programmer.
Our youth group here at church is working through a month long series on identity: how do we see ourselves?
How do we think others see us?
How do we wish that others saw us?
And most importantly, how does God see us?
How in the world can teenagers develop healthy answers to those kinds of questions when all the images they see in media basically lie to them about what beauty is?
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Another great quote...
Erwin McManus said,
"When are we going to realize that the church does not exist to serve us. We ARE the church and WE exist to serve others.
"When are we going to realize that the church does not exist to serve us. We ARE the church and WE exist to serve others.
Two Tragic True Stories
Number One:
Craig Groeschel tells a story about being a guest preacher at a small church while he was in seminary. He is talking to the secretary a few days before he is scheduled to come preach. She tells him, "You better be good. We've got a visitor coming this week and we desperately need a few new tithers to be able to pay the bills."
So Craig shows up on Sunday morning and he's standing outside a few minutes before church starts. Then he sees "the visitor." She staggers out of her car. Looks like she slept in what she is wearing at that moment. She looks scared. But she makes herself head for the door.
Craig says that his first thought is that he wonders what's going on in this woman's life to make her seek out church. And this church.
But as Craig sympathetically watches her make her way towards the door, suddenly a greeter steps towards her. And the greeter says, "Young lady, we dress up for God at this church."
The woman breaks into sobs and runs for her car.
Number Two
Julia Druin tells a story about Matt. He islegally blind and unable to drive, but he used public transportation to live a very productive life. Matt is a deep thinker and loves Reformed theology. He has a massive library and loves to have heady conversations about God.
Matt has struggled to find a church. There aren't many churches in which Matt fits theologically that are within walking distance of the bus route.
Matt finally found a church he liked. And the church leadership agreed to try to find a family to give him a ride. They did for awhile. Then the family began to forget on occasion. Matt would get dressed and go wait outside. They'd never show. When Matt called the church staff, they told him he was on his own.
Matt hasn't been back to church since.
Question: Who are we here for?
Craig Groeschel tells a story about being a guest preacher at a small church while he was in seminary. He is talking to the secretary a few days before he is scheduled to come preach. She tells him, "You better be good. We've got a visitor coming this week and we desperately need a few new tithers to be able to pay the bills."
So Craig shows up on Sunday morning and he's standing outside a few minutes before church starts. Then he sees "the visitor." She staggers out of her car. Looks like she slept in what she is wearing at that moment. She looks scared. But she makes herself head for the door.
Craig says that his first thought is that he wonders what's going on in this woman's life to make her seek out church. And this church.
But as Craig sympathetically watches her make her way towards the door, suddenly a greeter steps towards her. And the greeter says, "Young lady, we dress up for God at this church."
The woman breaks into sobs and runs for her car.
Number Two
Julia Druin tells a story about Matt. He islegally blind and unable to drive, but he used public transportation to live a very productive life. Matt is a deep thinker and loves Reformed theology. He has a massive library and loves to have heady conversations about God.
Matt has struggled to find a church. There aren't many churches in which Matt fits theologically that are within walking distance of the bus route.
Matt finally found a church he liked. And the church leadership agreed to try to find a family to give him a ride. They did for awhile. Then the family began to forget on occasion. Matt would get dressed and go wait outside. They'd never show. When Matt called the church staff, they told him he was on his own.
Matt hasn't been back to church since.
Question: Who are we here for?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Back in the days of slavery...
What time frame do you think of when you hear that phrase in the title?
It think of the antebellum South.
Did you know that today, October 2nd, 2008, there are more people held in slavery than at any other time in the history of the world.
Today.
When you think about that fact, where do you imagine those slaves are?
Cambodia? Darfur? Chicago?
I met one once. In Los Angeles. She had escaped. But prior to that, she was held by a guy who made her work in the sex trade. She was forced to dance at night. He took most of what she made. Then he locked her up every night inside the barber shop he owned. She slept on the floor. Her life wasn't her own. Actually she didn't own anything. She was owned.
In America.
There are 27 million people held in slavery right now.
Just thought you might want to know.
Click here to learn more about it:
Call and Response
It think of the antebellum South.
Did you know that today, October 2nd, 2008, there are more people held in slavery than at any other time in the history of the world.
Today.
When you think about that fact, where do you imagine those slaves are?
Cambodia? Darfur? Chicago?
I met one once. In Los Angeles. She had escaped. But prior to that, she was held by a guy who made her work in the sex trade. She was forced to dance at night. He took most of what she made. Then he locked her up every night inside the barber shop he owned. She slept on the floor. Her life wasn't her own. Actually she didn't own anything. She was owned.
In America.
There are 27 million people held in slavery right now.
Just thought you might want to know.
Click here to learn more about it:
Call and Response
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Melissa in Malawi, part 2
Just heard from Melissa again.
Her suitcase finally turned up today (3 days after she arrived).
She said that she and her dad are having a phenomenal trip. One suprising thing they've discovered: there are virtually no NGO's (non profits, aid groups, etc) in that particular part of Malawi. On the one hand that is tragic because the folks there just aren't getting much help. On the other hand, though, that's great. It feels like we are definitely heading in the right place.
She was able to arrange a partnership with a local hospital that will provide the leadership for digging wells in the region. That is another win/win. It guarantees local knowledge of the need. It ensures adequate local support for upkeep of the wells. And it means that local contractors will be the ones hired to do the actual digging.
Melissa also had a great day of visiting with the Opportunity International representatives in Mulanje. She was asked to share with one of the Trust Groups (a partnership of loan recipients) about her hopes for this Meet Malawi project. Melissa told me she broke into tears sharing about the amazing hospitality and welcome she had received and about how her heart for others was expanded by the heart of the group she was sitting with.
Those folks in Mulanje are incredibly excited about the group of us coming back there next year!!!
Melissa is spending the next 3 days building relationships with local churches in the region. She has stumbled across a fantastic friendship with a young couple who are being incredibly helpful. The wife is a health worker (trained in the U.K. thanks to a church partnership). She is going to drive Melissa into several small villages a bit further away from the population center. Some places that don't get alot of attention. But some places where the church in Malawi is active. Melissa is awfully excited about the possibilities.
One funny story. Most of the people they meet just naturally assume her dad is in charge and they talk to him. Her dad has started answering them all by saying, "I'm just here to carry her luggage. She's the boss."
Keep her and her dad in your prayers.
Her suitcase finally turned up today (3 days after she arrived).
She said that she and her dad are having a phenomenal trip. One suprising thing they've discovered: there are virtually no NGO's (non profits, aid groups, etc) in that particular part of Malawi. On the one hand that is tragic because the folks there just aren't getting much help. On the other hand, though, that's great. It feels like we are definitely heading in the right place.
She was able to arrange a partnership with a local hospital that will provide the leadership for digging wells in the region. That is another win/win. It guarantees local knowledge of the need. It ensures adequate local support for upkeep of the wells. And it means that local contractors will be the ones hired to do the actual digging.
Melissa also had a great day of visiting with the Opportunity International representatives in Mulanje. She was asked to share with one of the Trust Groups (a partnership of loan recipients) about her hopes for this Meet Malawi project. Melissa told me she broke into tears sharing about the amazing hospitality and welcome she had received and about how her heart for others was expanded by the heart of the group she was sitting with.
Those folks in Mulanje are incredibly excited about the group of us coming back there next year!!!
Melissa is spending the next 3 days building relationships with local churches in the region. She has stumbled across a fantastic friendship with a young couple who are being incredibly helpful. The wife is a health worker (trained in the U.K. thanks to a church partnership). She is going to drive Melissa into several small villages a bit further away from the population center. Some places that don't get alot of attention. But some places where the church in Malawi is active. Melissa is awfully excited about the possibilities.
One funny story. Most of the people they meet just naturally assume her dad is in charge and they talk to him. Her dad has started answering them all by saying, "I'm just here to carry her luggage. She's the boss."
Keep her and her dad in your prayers.
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